Am I grieving wrong? My feelings don't match the stages of grief I've read about.

You're not grieving wrong. The famous five stages model was developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969 to describe the experience of people who are dying, not those grieving a loss. Modern grief therapy uses more accurate frameworks: Worden's Four Tasks of Mourning (accepting the loss, processing the pain, adjusting, finding enduring connection), the Dual Process Model (oscillating between loss-oriented and restoration-oriented coping), and Continuing Bonds (transforming the relationship rather than letting go). Grief is rarely linear — sadness, laughter, anger, and numbness can all happen in the same day, and that is what grief looks like.

Why does grief hurt my body? Is it normal to feel physically sick?

Yes — grief is a full-body experience. When you experience profound loss, your nervous system shifts into chronic stress activation: cortisol rises, sleep disrupts, the immune system temporarily suppresses, and inflammation increases. Common physical symptoms include exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix, insomnia, appetite changes, chest tightness, digestive issues, headaches, weakened immunity, and even Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (broken heart syndrome). These symptoms typically improve over weeks to months as your nervous system stabilizes. If symptoms are severe or persistent, see your family doctor to rule out underlying medical issues.

How is my grief different if the relationship was complicated, the death was traumatic, or no one acknowledges my loss?

Several specific types of grief deserve naming. Disenfranchised grief is grief that society doesn't validate — an ex-partner, an estranged family member, a pet, a miscarriage, or a divorce. Traumatic grief layers trauma symptoms on top of bereavement when the death was sudden or violent — at Curio we often integrate EMDR or trauma-informed approaches. Complicated grief, now called Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD) in the DSM-5-TR, is a recognized clinical condition with intense yearning and impaired functioning lasting beyond 12 months. Ambiguous loss is grief without a clear ending — a loved one with dementia, a missing person, or a complicated estrangement.

How is grieving the loss of a pet different, and is it taken seriously here?

Yes — pet loss is taken as seriously as any other grief at Curio. The grief is real because the relationship was real. Pets provide consistent companionship, unconditional acceptance, daily routine, co-regulation, and witness to your private life. When that ends, the loss often hits harder than expected, and the social context (no funeral, no bereavement leave, comments like 'you can get another one') makes it harder. This is textbook disenfranchised grief. Pet loss can also reactivate older losses, especially if your pet was with you through major life transitions. Therapy gives you a space where the grief is fully recognized.

When should I worry that my grief isn't healing, and when is it just taking time?

Major bereavement typically reshapes life over 18 months to 2+ years, with the most acute phase usually in the first 6–12 months. Signs grief is moving naturally include lessening waves of acute pain, widening bandwidth for other emotions, and ability to tolerate reminders without dissociating. Signs to take more seriously after 6–12 months include intrusive memories that don't lessen, inability to imagine a future, withdrawal from relationships, substance use or self-harm, feeling life is meaningless, or such complete avoidance that you can't speak about the person. If you're having thoughts of ending your life, contact the Calgary Distress Centre at 403-266-HELP (4357), 988 Canada-wide, or visit your nearest emergency department.

Calgary Grief Counselling

Curio Counselling provides grief and loss counselling in Calgary for every kind of loss — bereavement, pet loss, miscarriage, divorce, job loss, and the anticipatory grief that begins before a goodbye — in person at our Beltline office (1414 8 St SW, Suite 200) and online across Alberta. Our grief counsellors include Registered Psychologists regulated by the College of Alberta Psychologists and Canadian Certified Counsellors certified by the CCPA, offering individual and group grief therapy using CBT, narrative therapy, and EMDR for traumatic and complicated grief — including Prolonged Grief Disorder, when mourning doesn’t ease with time. There’s no formula for grief and no timeline you’re failing to meet: book a free, no-obligation 20-minute consultation and we’ll match you with the right counsellor

Understanding Grief

Grief is a natural response to loss, encompassing a broad spectrum of emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations.

While commonly associated with the death of a loved one, grief can also be triggered by other significant losses, such as divorce, job loss, or the end of a relationship.

Each individual experiences grief differently, and there is no prescribed formula for grieving.

During the grieving process, you may encounter a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion. These feelings can fluctuate unpredictably, waxing and waning over time.

Additionally, grief can manifest physically, leading to symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, headaches, and digestive issues.

When to Seek Grief Counselling

While grief is a natural aspect of the human experience, it’s crucial to recognize when your grief becomes overwhelming or impedes your ability to function.

If you find yourself struggling to cope with your emotions, experiencing persistent sadness or anxiety, or feeling isolated and disconnected from others, it may be time to seek professional support.

At Curio Counselling, we believe that no one should navigate their grief journey alone. Our grief counselling services provide a safe and supportive environment for you to explore your emotions, process your thoughts and feelings, and develop healthy coping strategies for moving forward.

The Different Types of Grief Counselling

There are various approaches to grief counselling, and the most suitable approach for you will depend on your individual circumstances and preferences. Our experienced grief counsellors will collaborate with you to determine the most appropriate approach for your unique situation and provide you with the support and guidance you need to navigate your grief journey. Some common types of grief counselling include:

Individual counselling: One-on-one sessions with a trained therapist to explore your grief and develop personalized coping strategies.
Group therapy: Participating in a support group with others who are also grieving can provide a sense of community and understanding.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): This therapeutic approach focuses on identifying and challenging unhelpful thoughts and behaviors related to grief.
Narrative therapy: A narrative approach to grief therapy provides the opportunity to externalize grief and reconstruct meaning in the face of loss.

Understanding Unresolved Grief

Unresolved grief, also known as persistent complex bereavement disorder, occurs when someone experiences prolonged and intense feelings of sadness and longing following a loss.

Individuals with unresolved grief may struggle to accept the reality of the loss, experience persistent anxiety or depression, and have difficulty engaging in daily activities.

If you’re experiencing unresolved grief, it’s essential to seek support from a qualified therapist who can help you process your emotions, work through your grief, and find ways to integrate your grief in meaningful ways.

The Impact of Untreated Grief

Unchecked or untreated grief can have significant consequences for your emotional, physical, and mental well-being.

Untreated grief may lead to chronic stress, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. It can also impact your relationships, work performance, and overall quality of life.

By seeking grief counselling and addressing your grief in a healthy and constructive manner, you can reduce the risk of long-term complications and find healing and peace amidst the pain of loss.

What to Expect During Grief Counselling

During your grief counselling sessions, you can expect to work collaboratively with your therapist to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to your loss. Your therapist will provide you with a safe and non-judgmental space to express yourself and process your emotions at your own pace.

Your therapist may use a variety of therapeutic techniques to help you navigate your grief, including talk therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy Calgary (CBT), mindfulness exercises, and relaxation techniques. Together, you will identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts and beliefs about your loss, develop healthy coping strategies, and work towards finding meaning and acceptance in the midst of your grief.

Additional Resources for Grief Support

In addition to individual grief counselling, there are many other resources available to support you on your grief journey.

These may include support groups, online forums, self-help books, and community resources.

Your therapist can provide you with recommendations and referrals to additional resources that may be helpful for you.

Taking the First Step Towards Healing

If you’re struggling to cope with the pain of loss and grief, you don’t have to face it alone.

The compassionate team at Curio Counselling is here to provide you with the support, guidance, and understanding you need to navigate your grief journey and find healing and peace.

Schedule a consultation and take the first step towards healing. Your journey towards healing begins here.

Types of Grief We Support

Bereavement (death of a loved one)
Pet loss
Anticipatory grief (loss of a dying loved one)
Traumatic grief
Disenfranchised grief
Complicated grief / Prolonged Grief Disorder
Ambiguous loss
Loss through divorce, estrangement, or relationship endings
Loss of identity, role, or life path (job loss, retirement, illness, miscarriage)
Anniversary grief

Book a Free,
20 Minute Consultation

Whether you are considering accessing counselling services for the first time, or hoping to find a therapist who is new to you, we want to make the process as simple and straightforward as possible.

That is why we offer a free, no-obligation, 20-minute phone or video consultation with the Calgary therapist of your choice.

Our Calgary Therapists for Grief & Loss Therapy

All of our Calgary therapists hold a Master of Counselling degree from an accredited university and are members in good standing with either the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA) or the College of Alberta Psychologists (CAP).

The Safe Space

Our counselling spaces are designed to make you feel comfortable and safe. Upon entering a counselling room, you are welcome to choose whichever seat you would like. Feel free to put your feet up, drape a blanket over yourself, or even lie down.

Therapy room at Curio Counselling's Beltline Calgary office with soft seating and natural light

Curio Counselling reception area in downtown Calgary, Alberta

Calgary counselling office interior at Curio Counselling on 8 Street SW

Private counselling session room at Curio Counselling Calgary

Our Location in Calgary, AB

You can expect to be greeted by our receptionist, invited to take a seat in our waiting area, and offered a beverage.

References & Further Reading

Center for Loss (n.d.). Grief and mourning basics. https://www.centerforloss.com/grief/grief-mourning-basics/

Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. (n.d.). Coping with loss and grief. https://www.camh.ca/en/camh-news-and-stories/coping-with-loss-and-grief

Cherry, K. (2022, May 12). What is bereavement? Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/bereavement-definition-symptoms-causes-traits-treatment-5197038

Wolfelt, A. D. (2013). Understanding your grief: Helping yourself heal. Routledge.